General State of Things

Right now I'm just feeling an overall state of frustration, uneasiness, hurt, and other not so positive emotions. More often than not I try to keep myself pretty even keeled. Not too over the top happy, but not too much of a downer either. Lately though, I feel just discontet towards everything. My job is frustrating and no longer fulfilling. My home life is becomingly stressful as I'm growing more resentful for the situation that I was put in. Even though the only things that put me here were a series of unforeseen circumstances, I'm still upset that I have to be here. I still feel like I've stalled in my professional career. All in all, just a very turbulent time in my life.

The worst thing above all of this is the one constant that I've had in my life for the past four and a half years is now gone. The store that I used to work until this past May closed on Saturday. Now I had not been working there all summer, but I would still pass through and see all the amazing people that I call some of my best friends. The place really was like my home during all of my time there. When I had nowhere else to go, even when I wasn't working, I would go there to escape from whatever was bothering me. I grew up in that place and was influenced heavily by the people around me. I went through so much there and now I feel like that is gone. My place of safety and solitude is gone.

Now, most people say it was only some place to work, but to me and to some of us who were employed there, it meant so much more. We grew up together and learned from each other. Sure, those people are still in my life, but that store was our bond. Everyone is now forced to go their own ways and those relationships will be strained more than ever. I'm hoping that they will never be severed, but the way in which our lives go is out of our control really.

I guess I'm feeling this kind of way because of the store closing, but I know there's other reasons. Reasons that I really cannot formulate into coherent thoughts right now. Anyway, I'm done for now.