As the end of the year approaches as steadily as the snow is falling outside, I have spent the last few days reflecting upon all that has happened. I have had many ups and down, conflicts and resolutions, and most importantly growth. In the beginninng of the year I was trapped in a depression that really drained me of all my spirit and vigor. I cared about nothing and was just drifting through each day as if it were unimportant. I felt that the whole world was against me and nothing was going to go my way. This affected my relationship with my family, friends and coworkers. They all tried to help me through it, but I wanted no part of it. It was with time that I realized I needed to break through the lethargy that consumed my life and respect the amazing opportunity before me.
Lesson #1 I would wake up tomorrow with an opportunity to turn any dream that I wanted into a reality. All things can be possible with belief, work, and perseverance.
At another point during this year, I dramatically cut a friend out of my life. I did it because I was adamently opposed to the girl he was dating and I was upset, bothered, and disgusted at the things she did to me which affected my personal life. I could go on about the events that led up to me feeling that way, but this is not an opportunity to slander someone nor is it right to dredge up old arguments. Anyway, everyone has those moments in their life where you know that when it's time to go into the battle, you can count on those people you trust the most to have your back regardless of the circumstance. I know I have those friends that I call brothers, but at this point it seemed he had forgotten about the ones he referred to as family and changed himself for her.
Lesson #2 Regardless of circumstance, true friendships withstand trivial squabbles. Sure we may disagree with what our friends do in their own lives at times, but the reason that we stay friends with those people is because they supported us through our wacky initiatives and therefore the favor must be returned.
As times wears on, I tend to get caught up on each individual moment instead of looking at the bigger picture. I've had this conversation with people who fall into the same trap. I can recall countless times where I was paranoid over saying the wrong thing or not saying the right thing. Should I make that call today because I haven't spoken to someone in months or should I just let it go? Is this fight going to be the last time we speak? Should we all take that drive out to our friend's old college despite knowing he may get us into some trouble because he's a wild man? Is it going out to the bar tonight the best option?
Lesson #3 In this life, you really just have to go for it. More often than not, we all have already made up the decision about what we want to do in within the first few seconds that the idea is born in our own minds. It is only after those few seconds that the logic and reason that we have developed over time convinces us of all the reasons that we should not do it. Barring the situation being something that will injure, debilitate, or kill you, just go for it. If you want it, then go for it so that at the end of the day you can at least say you went for it all. These one moments can define you, but they are still only moments in a life full of millions.
Lately I've been having this debate with a buddy that the type of romantic love portrayed in movies is all just fictional. He makes the argument that I am hard hearted and unwilling to love. On the contrary, I have loved and do love even as I type this entry. I don't agree that the type of love is common in the world where the guy is walking down the street and the girl is walking down the street carrying her grocery bag and they bump into each other at the corner. Then the guy reaches down to help the girl pick up her groceries and as they raise up, their eyes meet and they fall in love. It all just seems too perfect for me; however, I do think that there are moments in each of our lives where something sparks and over time we realize what or who we do love.
Lesson #4 Love makes the world go 'round. Without it, there would be nothing worth getting up for in the morning. Love what you do, love who you are, love where you want to go, or love another person. It is such an important part of life. With regards to lesson #3, if you love something then just go for it and let the chips fall where they may.
After saying of all that and reflecting on what I have learned, I am anxious for 2011 and grateful for 2010.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
End of the Year Perspective
I have been wanting to update this blog for awhile, but I have honestly been hard pressed to find the time to just sit down and reflect on any one topic. Right now, however, seems like an ideal time. I just woke up from an unexpected, but much needed nap and have some time to myself.
Before I wrote this I wanted to go back and read the entry that I wrote around the same time last year. I've always felt that it was important to take note of of where you've come from in order to continue moving forward. That is one of the beauties of this blog. I can look back at how I was thinking at the same point last year and see the change in myself.
This time last year I was very bothered by the events of 2009 and searching for something positive to take solace in at the end of the day. In a year marred by unfortunate events, troubled relationships, and tough times, I was struggling to find something to remain positive about in my life. This year, however, is different for two reasons. First of all, I have more things to be positive for right now. This year has brought a lot of change into my life and these changes have allowed me to take major strides for what I want to do in the future. Granted, I'm not where I want to be yet, but all good things worth achieving take time and strong effort. I'll get there because I want it enough.
Secondly, and most important, my whole outlook is different than it was a year ago. Last year I was focused on all the situations and events that went wrong instead of focusing on what is important: being alive. Too often, we all get caught up in the frustrating times that life throws at us. We become engaged in trivial fights that over the course of a lifetime are meaningless. We allow ourselves to become enwrapped in negative emotions and feelings that at the time are our whole world, but in the grand scheme of things are nothing more than a blip on the radar. I've learned this year that it is important and imperative to focus on all the positive things in my life. My family, my friends, and learning a thing or two from every situation that comes my way regardless of outcome.
I'm sure I'll still grow frustrated by situations that arise day by day such as a seemingly interminable day at the office, financial concerns, or not getting the girl of my dreams. All of those issues will come and go. At the end of the day, I'm still alive and still have so many things to be thankful for in my life. As long as I can maintain that perspective and take comfort in all the things I have around me, then every year from here on out will be a good year through and through.
Before I wrote this I wanted to go back and read the entry that I wrote around the same time last year. I've always felt that it was important to take note of of where you've come from in order to continue moving forward. That is one of the beauties of this blog. I can look back at how I was thinking at the same point last year and see the change in myself.
This time last year I was very bothered by the events of 2009 and searching for something positive to take solace in at the end of the day. In a year marred by unfortunate events, troubled relationships, and tough times, I was struggling to find something to remain positive about in my life. This year, however, is different for two reasons. First of all, I have more things to be positive for right now. This year has brought a lot of change into my life and these changes have allowed me to take major strides for what I want to do in the future. Granted, I'm not where I want to be yet, but all good things worth achieving take time and strong effort. I'll get there because I want it enough.
Secondly, and most important, my whole outlook is different than it was a year ago. Last year I was focused on all the situations and events that went wrong instead of focusing on what is important: being alive. Too often, we all get caught up in the frustrating times that life throws at us. We become engaged in trivial fights that over the course of a lifetime are meaningless. We allow ourselves to become enwrapped in negative emotions and feelings that at the time are our whole world, but in the grand scheme of things are nothing more than a blip on the radar. I've learned this year that it is important and imperative to focus on all the positive things in my life. My family, my friends, and learning a thing or two from every situation that comes my way regardless of outcome.
I'm sure I'll still grow frustrated by situations that arise day by day such as a seemingly interminable day at the office, financial concerns, or not getting the girl of my dreams. All of those issues will come and go. At the end of the day, I'm still alive and still have so many things to be thankful for in my life. As long as I can maintain that perspective and take comfort in all the things I have around me, then every year from here on out will be a good year through and through.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Some Things Never Change
This is a subject I know I have definitely written about before, but it continues to amaze me. I'm talking about friendship. The real deal kind of friendship, not that phony stuff people offer to you. I was reminded of it again last night after having an impromptu night out with the crew, well a majority of it at least. In our usual fashion, we decided upon this about an hour before we all were supposed to get together and just like old times we all came together from our various places and activities for a good time filled with laughter. As you look around the table at everybody, it's clear to see that we have all changed. We all have begun our own lives and chased after what we feel is most important to us, however, we can still all get together as if we were sitting at the cafeteria table playing Spades before class.
On my way home, I was reminded that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Sure, as we have grown older our opinions on the world have changed and we clash more frequently. At the end of the day, though, we still look out for one another and want nothing but the best for each other.
Also, I'm very thankful to say that I was able to welcome back a friend from years gone by back into my life. We did miss out on 4+ years of life changing experiences, though. Yet, after a few tense hours of being in the company of one another, it felt like we picked up right where we left off. Well, at least the part right before where everything started to go downhill.
All in all, despite the quirks and idiosyncracies of that group of people, I still call them my family. We keep each other honest and are there in the clutch. That, ladies and gentlemen, is difficult to find. If you have people like that in your life, be thankful.
On my way home, I was reminded that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Sure, as we have grown older our opinions on the world have changed and we clash more frequently. At the end of the day, though, we still look out for one another and want nothing but the best for each other.
Also, I'm very thankful to say that I was able to welcome back a friend from years gone by back into my life. We did miss out on 4+ years of life changing experiences, though. Yet, after a few tense hours of being in the company of one another, it felt like we picked up right where we left off. Well, at least the part right before where everything started to go downhill.
All in all, despite the quirks and idiosyncracies of that group of people, I still call them my family. We keep each other honest and are there in the clutch. That, ladies and gentlemen, is difficult to find. If you have people like that in your life, be thankful.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Frustrating Feeling.
This entry will probably end up being relatively short comapred to others that I've written. I just need to vent a bit. One of the most frustrating feelings that I can have is to feel powerless in certain situations. Now I know that most things in this world and this life, for that matter, are simply out of my control. I'm perfectly fine with that. My problem is wanting to do something, but not being able to. Also, I can usually have a good feel for when things aren't right and I want to help solve those problems; however, right now there's nothing I can do and that bothers me. Actually, it doesn't make me angry or upset. On the contrary, it makes me feel awful that I can't be there. Ah well....it is what it is. All I can do is wait for my moment and then deal with it then.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Choices
I feel this blog is very appropriate for the way I'm feeling right now and a perfect introduction for the next topic that I want to cover in my next blog. Lately I've been dealing with the struggle of making the right choice in a variety of situations. During that struggle, I analyze every possible outcome, positive and negative, and drive myself crazy and ultimately decide on not doing anything at all because I'm overly concerned with dealing with an outcome that I do not want.
After reaching a breaking point, I've realized that I cannot continue to worry about making the right or wrong choice because choices are neither wrong nor right. They are simply choices. The outcome that follows may either be desired or perhaps unfavorable and I have to deal with it at that time. That's the only way to continue to moving forward. Driving myself crazy and never making a choice will never move me forward at all.
I've come to the conclusion that I know what I want and I have an idea of what I'm looking to get out of this world. I have chosen a path for myself and I'm sure there will be problems along the way, but I will resolve them as they occur. As I go forward, I ask for advice from trusted friends, but the decision still comes down to me. I will take their advice into consideration; yet, I'm still going to pursue what I want and feel is right. Sometimes I've been worried about making the choice that my friends feel may be a poor one, but they are just giving my their opinion. Thinking that I'm going to let them down is a ridiculous notion. Regardless of what happens, I know that these friends who I value so highly and dearly will be there to either celebrate with me or help pick up the pieces if everything comes crumbling down.
Additionally, I've been critical of other people for making decisions that I felt were either bad or would lead to something unfortunate. Now while I feel had noble intentions, it's not my life to live. At the end of the day, I will go back to my life and those people will be left to live with the choices they made and they will not affect me. All I can do is be there when needed, but let them go after what they want.
Once everything is said and done, if I or anyone feels that they have gone after what they wanted and given everything they have for it, then they made the right choice. If the outcome isn't what they wanted, we can all say we tried. There's nothing worse than never trying because you spent all your time wondering how to make the perfect choice instead of just making the choice you want.
After reaching a breaking point, I've realized that I cannot continue to worry about making the right or wrong choice because choices are neither wrong nor right. They are simply choices. The outcome that follows may either be desired or perhaps unfavorable and I have to deal with it at that time. That's the only way to continue to moving forward. Driving myself crazy and never making a choice will never move me forward at all.
I've come to the conclusion that I know what I want and I have an idea of what I'm looking to get out of this world. I have chosen a path for myself and I'm sure there will be problems along the way, but I will resolve them as they occur. As I go forward, I ask for advice from trusted friends, but the decision still comes down to me. I will take their advice into consideration; yet, I'm still going to pursue what I want and feel is right. Sometimes I've been worried about making the choice that my friends feel may be a poor one, but they are just giving my their opinion. Thinking that I'm going to let them down is a ridiculous notion. Regardless of what happens, I know that these friends who I value so highly and dearly will be there to either celebrate with me or help pick up the pieces if everything comes crumbling down.
Additionally, I've been critical of other people for making decisions that I felt were either bad or would lead to something unfortunate. Now while I feel had noble intentions, it's not my life to live. At the end of the day, I will go back to my life and those people will be left to live with the choices they made and they will not affect me. All I can do is be there when needed, but let them go after what they want.
Once everything is said and done, if I or anyone feels that they have gone after what they wanted and given everything they have for it, then they made the right choice. If the outcome isn't what they wanted, we can all say we tried. There's nothing worse than never trying because you spent all your time wondering how to make the perfect choice instead of just making the choice you want.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
You're Beautiful.
Know what is breathtaking? Well, we all have our own answers to that question. In fact, I have a few, but the one I'm going to write about in this blog is the sight of a beautiful woman. Now I don't want anyone to confuse my use of beautiful with other adjectives such as "hot," "sexy," "alluring," etc. Beautiful stands alone from all of those and in my opinion stands above them as well.
Let's get into this. I've always wanted to see a beautiful woman in her purest form. She's not wearing any makeup and her hair isn't done. She's not trying to impress anybody and frankly, she doesn't have to. That to me is what I love to see. As you look upon her, you can get lost in her eyes and before you know it, you're sitting there with a goofy look on your face as she asks if you're ok. Even if you've just had the worst day of your life, her smile makes you smile. Every detail that she doesn't like, you love about her because it is uniquely hers and she's just not the same without it. All of those things can be found in true beauty.
I want to add that beauty isn't just on the surface. When I talk about being beautiful, I mean inside and out. I'm talking about the essence of that woman: her personality, her quirks, her idiosyncracies. All of those little things she does when she's at her most comfortable and not being guarded because she trusts you. Everything from her strongest qualities to her flaws are points that you love about her. Finding that sort of beauty is wonderful thing.
Now, the old saying goes, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Certainly, this is true because what I find beautiful, many of you out there may not. However, I do feel that we are all looking to find that kind of beauty, both inside and out, in a person that makes us happy. We all want to experience those types of feelings. Finding it is the first step and that is amazing, but being able to enjoy it is the harder part, yet by far the most rewarding.
Thank you and Good Night.
Let's get into this. I've always wanted to see a beautiful woman in her purest form. She's not wearing any makeup and her hair isn't done. She's not trying to impress anybody and frankly, she doesn't have to. That to me is what I love to see. As you look upon her, you can get lost in her eyes and before you know it, you're sitting there with a goofy look on your face as she asks if you're ok. Even if you've just had the worst day of your life, her smile makes you smile. Every detail that she doesn't like, you love about her because it is uniquely hers and she's just not the same without it. All of those things can be found in true beauty.
I want to add that beauty isn't just on the surface. When I talk about being beautiful, I mean inside and out. I'm talking about the essence of that woman: her personality, her quirks, her idiosyncracies. All of those little things she does when she's at her most comfortable and not being guarded because she trusts you. Everything from her strongest qualities to her flaws are points that you love about her. Finding that sort of beauty is wonderful thing.
Now, the old saying goes, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Certainly, this is true because what I find beautiful, many of you out there may not. However, I do feel that we are all looking to find that kind of beauty, both inside and out, in a person that makes us happy. We all want to experience those types of feelings. Finding it is the first step and that is amazing, but being able to enjoy it is the harder part, yet by far the most rewarding.
Thank you and Good Night.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
One Moment
Is that all it really takes? One word, one phrase, one call, or just one instance to turn everything around in your life. I think so. The biggest changes in our lives, well at least in my own, usually occur in the blink of an eye. Sometimes we can pinpoint when it all changed and other times it becomes lost in the shuffle, but it was still there. Yet, its those moments that define us.
My lowest and highest moments all began with one sudden change in my life. That one instantaneous change would spark something incredibly great or truly devastating. I'm just in awe of it all really. It's really marvelous.
It has been a variety of moments for me, both good and bad, throughout my life. Most of which I'm not going to name here because a) I don't feel comfortable telling the world and b) some of these opportunities have not come to fruition yet and I have a tendency of talking about things before they become a reality and ruining them; therefore, I'm not going to discuss them now.
However, though, I will blog about some hypotheticals that hopefully someone can relate with what I have to say.
- Saying goodbye to someone you care about and knowing that your life will go on without them.
- Getting that call and hearing on the other line that what you've fought so hard for can finally be yours.
- Seeing her face for the first time in a crowded place that you shouldn't have been at to begin with and believing in something you thought only existed in our own imaginations.
- Realizing that there's something bigger than you ever thought before out there.
- Losing it all and accepting that you are at your lowest.
We've all heard or talked about defining moments. Those instances where opportunity stares you in the face and we can either take it or let it go. We may not always be able to simply reach out and seize it, but we can embrace the change it brings into our life. That's all we really can do, embrace what comes our way.
I don't really think I put forth a very clear idea in this blog, but my general feeling right now is one of hopefulness. Hopeful of the moments that change us in such distinct ways. This feeling is very fragile right now, but I feel that things generally work themselves out. It's what makes life worth living.
My lowest and highest moments all began with one sudden change in my life. That one instantaneous change would spark something incredibly great or truly devastating. I'm just in awe of it all really. It's really marvelous.
It has been a variety of moments for me, both good and bad, throughout my life. Most of which I'm not going to name here because a) I don't feel comfortable telling the world and b) some of these opportunities have not come to fruition yet and I have a tendency of talking about things before they become a reality and ruining them; therefore, I'm not going to discuss them now.
However, though, I will blog about some hypotheticals that hopefully someone can relate with what I have to say.
- Saying goodbye to someone you care about and knowing that your life will go on without them.
- Getting that call and hearing on the other line that what you've fought so hard for can finally be yours.
- Seeing her face for the first time in a crowded place that you shouldn't have been at to begin with and believing in something you thought only existed in our own imaginations.
- Realizing that there's something bigger than you ever thought before out there.
- Losing it all and accepting that you are at your lowest.
We've all heard or talked about defining moments. Those instances where opportunity stares you in the face and we can either take it or let it go. We may not always be able to simply reach out and seize it, but we can embrace the change it brings into our life. That's all we really can do, embrace what comes our way.
I don't really think I put forth a very clear idea in this blog, but my general feeling right now is one of hopefulness. Hopeful of the moments that change us in such distinct ways. This feeling is very fragile right now, but I feel that things generally work themselves out. It's what makes life worth living.
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