As the end of the year approaches as steadily as the snow is falling outside, I have spent the last few days reflecting upon all that has happened. I have had many ups and down, conflicts and resolutions, and most importantly growth. In the beginninng of the year I was trapped in a depression that really drained me of all my spirit and vigor. I cared about nothing and was just drifting through each day as if it were unimportant. I felt that the whole world was against me and nothing was going to go my way. This affected my relationship with my family, friends and coworkers. They all tried to help me through it, but I wanted no part of it. It was with time that I realized I needed to break through the lethargy that consumed my life and respect the amazing opportunity before me.
Lesson #1 I would wake up tomorrow with an opportunity to turn any dream that I wanted into a reality. All things can be possible with belief, work, and perseverance.
At another point during this year, I dramatically cut a friend out of my life. I did it because I was adamently opposed to the girl he was dating and I was upset, bothered, and disgusted at the things she did to me which affected my personal life. I could go on about the events that led up to me feeling that way, but this is not an opportunity to slander someone nor is it right to dredge up old arguments. Anyway, everyone has those moments in their life where you know that when it's time to go into the battle, you can count on those people you trust the most to have your back regardless of the circumstance. I know I have those friends that I call brothers, but at this point it seemed he had forgotten about the ones he referred to as family and changed himself for her.
Lesson #2 Regardless of circumstance, true friendships withstand trivial squabbles. Sure we may disagree with what our friends do in their own lives at times, but the reason that we stay friends with those people is because they supported us through our wacky initiatives and therefore the favor must be returned.
As times wears on, I tend to get caught up on each individual moment instead of looking at the bigger picture. I've had this conversation with people who fall into the same trap. I can recall countless times where I was paranoid over saying the wrong thing or not saying the right thing. Should I make that call today because I haven't spoken to someone in months or should I just let it go? Is this fight going to be the last time we speak? Should we all take that drive out to our friend's old college despite knowing he may get us into some trouble because he's a wild man? Is it going out to the bar tonight the best option?
Lesson #3 In this life, you really just have to go for it. More often than not, we all have already made up the decision about what we want to do in within the first few seconds that the idea is born in our own minds. It is only after those few seconds that the logic and reason that we have developed over time convinces us of all the reasons that we should not do it. Barring the situation being something that will injure, debilitate, or kill you, just go for it. If you want it, then go for it so that at the end of the day you can at least say you went for it all. These one moments can define you, but they are still only moments in a life full of millions.
Lately I've been having this debate with a buddy that the type of romantic love portrayed in movies is all just fictional. He makes the argument that I am hard hearted and unwilling to love. On the contrary, I have loved and do love even as I type this entry. I don't agree that the type of love is common in the world where the guy is walking down the street and the girl is walking down the street carrying her grocery bag and they bump into each other at the corner. Then the guy reaches down to help the girl pick up her groceries and as they raise up, their eyes meet and they fall in love. It all just seems too perfect for me; however, I do think that there are moments in each of our lives where something sparks and over time we realize what or who we do love.
Lesson #4 Love makes the world go 'round. Without it, there would be nothing worth getting up for in the morning. Love what you do, love who you are, love where you want to go, or love another person. It is such an important part of life. With regards to lesson #3, if you love something then just go for it and let the chips fall where they may.
After saying of all that and reflecting on what I have learned, I am anxious for 2011 and grateful for 2010.
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