Hope In Hope

So at some point or multiple points we come to the realization that we want to have somebody in our lives, in addition to just friends and family. Not marriage or anything, but just a relationship with somebody that is something more than casual hook-ups and flings that we all have. Even more than the cat and mouse games we tend to play with each other. While those are all enjoyable and full of pleasure, those euphoric highs are fleeting. How long can somebody just engage in casual physical attractions before it grows tiring? Over time, we subconsciously crave a deeper meaning but mask it with just the casual liaisons. The cat and mouse chases are fun and challenging, but they too grow boring after awhile. Even as new challenges come and old ones are either completed or simply deemed not worth it, the thrill of the chase always goes away. There are those times when we want to be with somebody. It’s when we feel completeness through somebody else.

Now my friend Ant once told me that we need four types of connections to fully be compatible with somebody: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Now in an ideal world, we can find that somebody who matches up with our views or understandings on all those things. However, this is an imperfect world and we instead seek out the most important of those attributes in one person or sometimes supplement each attribute with a variety of people. The latter of which is probably not the best solution, however, it does keep us protected, but are we happy? This is the real question.

While we all search for those qualities in the hopes of finding somebody, most of us are scared to go down that path again. The path of pining over a person and doing ridiculous things that are against one’s better judgment. Is that foolishness worth it or is it not worth it if we have to act foolishly?

The fact of the matter is that if we do have to ask ourselves all of these questions and spend so much time and energy on deciding on whether it is worth it, then we probably have unknowingly answered our own question. It’s not wrong to want to be with somebody on a deeper level, but it is wrong when we have to torment ourselves before it all even begins. We exhaust ourselves before even starting the race. If that’s the case, then it clearly isn’t a race worth running. Unfortunately, we will just continue forth with our usual habits of flings and chasing until we truly find somebody that makes us want to look past all the bullshit in the way. There will not be any more work involved and instead the connection just flows. Until that point when the chase is unnecessary, the foolishness isn’t worth it, but it’s not wrong to still want to feel that way.