The year of '09 has been probably one of the hardest years of my life. It will not be worst because that title belongs to 1998. However, this past year was definitely one of the most challenging. I can remember almost a year ago when I was days away from finishing school feeling as if I had the brightest future ahead of me. I would walk into the upcoming year and seize the day. Then 2009 came and slapped me right in the face.
I'm not going to bore anyone reading this with the detailed events of this past year because that's what all the past blog posts are about. Although I will try to highlight most of them. I've always felt that I was much more mature than my age let on. I think I allowed that confidence to become pompous and I needed to understand that I was ready to handle all that I thought I could. This year I dealt with family hardships, a financial crisis, lost friendships, the seemingly never ending search for a suitable, dependable woman in my life, and a load of other minor stresses that were only amplified because of the major meltdowns I had going on around me. Let's not forget the burden I placed on myself for not finding a job with this degree that I believed would open every door in the world for me. Instead I was stuck at the same retail chain that I was in during college.
Out of all the problems I just mentioned, I think the one that I specifically want to touch upon next is the one regarding lost friendships. This year I definitely lost or severed more than one friendship. In retrospect, I'm not as upset as one would think. I'm not going to say I'm better off without them in my life, but I honestly do not feel like I lost anything. It was just time for each of those people to go their own way and for me to go mine. Often we try to hang onto things that just aren't worth it anymore. Sometimes it's better to just let the world play itself out and react accordingly.
With all this said, I will not miss 2009. Yes, there were some bright spots. There were some times that I will never forget because of how truly great they were. Also, there are a few people I have met this year that I have grown close to and hope to continue to grow with long into the future. I look forward to 2010 with hope that it will bring much better things.
Lastly, I want to mention one of my friends, Abraham. While this year was hard for my friends, myself, and even Abe. He is the one person that I can say really seized an opportunity and ran with it. Congrats, Abe.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Lost That Fire
Lately, I've been stuck in a rut that I can't seem to pull myself out of. I've fallen into the same routine week after week. It's becoming frustrating. I know that's not me. I know I've always preferred some order to complete chaos, but that little bit of chaos that I used to know is now long. I miss the excitement and I miss the occassional randomness.
Also, I feel like that desire I used to have is slowly fading away. I guess it's from the continued lack of success I've had with finding a job and getting out of this retail grind. Everyone says to be thankful that I'm still employed and can pay my bills because there are hundreds of people clamoring for my position. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for it. However, I've settled into the position and I shouldn't. I should be searching harder and demanding every opportunity as if my job is on the line. It sounds so easy to say the solution to my own problem in the previous line, but I still know I won't go as hard as I should. I really need that kick in the backside to really get myself in gear. I'm stuck in the mud right now with my wheels spinning; hopefully, everyone reading this is ok with that metaphor.
After I finish writing this little update I'm probably going to back on the hunt for jobs, get some fax numbers to a few positions I applied to within the past few days, and then forward my resume to those companies directly. I'm hoping that I can catch a break and that in turn will light those fires I used to have less than a year ago when I was on the cusp of graduating and thought opportunity was right around the corner. I was smacked with reality and now tend to be more realistic regarding this whole job search. Unfortunately, my realism sometimes turns to pessimism and that's when I need that kick in the behind.
Anyway, I'm done thinking now. Goodnight.
Also, I feel like that desire I used to have is slowly fading away. I guess it's from the continued lack of success I've had with finding a job and getting out of this retail grind. Everyone says to be thankful that I'm still employed and can pay my bills because there are hundreds of people clamoring for my position. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for it. However, I've settled into the position and I shouldn't. I should be searching harder and demanding every opportunity as if my job is on the line. It sounds so easy to say the solution to my own problem in the previous line, but I still know I won't go as hard as I should. I really need that kick in the backside to really get myself in gear. I'm stuck in the mud right now with my wheels spinning; hopefully, everyone reading this is ok with that metaphor.
After I finish writing this little update I'm probably going to back on the hunt for jobs, get some fax numbers to a few positions I applied to within the past few days, and then forward my resume to those companies directly. I'm hoping that I can catch a break and that in turn will light those fires I used to have less than a year ago when I was on the cusp of graduating and thought opportunity was right around the corner. I was smacked with reality and now tend to be more realistic regarding this whole job search. Unfortunately, my realism sometimes turns to pessimism and that's when I need that kick in the behind.
Anyway, I'm done thinking now. Goodnight.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Giving Back
I haven't written in here recently, but unfortunately there hasn't been much going on worth noting. Sad, I know. That is until today and I had a particularly interesting experience at work.
I was standing at the cash register checking my fantasy teams' scores on my cell phone as people were wandering about my store. Typical Sunday when I'm stuck at work. Well, as I'm standing there a little boy, maybe 5 or 6, walks up to the side of the register where there is a tiny ledge and stools. He plops down on one of the stools and starts talking to me. I figured I had nothing else going on so I might as well continue this conversation. I asked what kind of cartoons he watches and things of that sort. Then he became really passionate when he started talking about Godzilla. He was naming all the monsters: Mothra, MechaGodzilla, King Ghidra, etc. He seemed really excited. Then in an instant he became really sullen.
I knew his father was in my store shopping for interview clothes, but obviously I didn't ask any further questions. However, his son told me during the conversation I was having with him that his father lost his job and he can't get any more Godzilla toys even though he wants some. He said he hopes Santa can bring him some for Christmas. That part of the conversation really got to me and I really stepped outside of my own life problems.
Now there's not much I could have done for him or his family at that moment except hope for the best for his father on that interview. I know he'll look damn good seeing as he was dressed by one of the finest salesmen on the East Coast. Anyway, this upcoming holiday and even before that I want to give back any way I can. I know of a couple programs that run during the holiday season, but I feel like I can do more than that. I'm particularly trying to donate anything I can towards causes that benefit children. If anyone reading this knows of such a program, please contact me. Also, I will be posting future updates about programs that I am donating towards. If you would like to join my cause, also contact me.
Thanks.
I was standing at the cash register checking my fantasy teams' scores on my cell phone as people were wandering about my store. Typical Sunday when I'm stuck at work. Well, as I'm standing there a little boy, maybe 5 or 6, walks up to the side of the register where there is a tiny ledge and stools. He plops down on one of the stools and starts talking to me. I figured I had nothing else going on so I might as well continue this conversation. I asked what kind of cartoons he watches and things of that sort. Then he became really passionate when he started talking about Godzilla. He was naming all the monsters: Mothra, MechaGodzilla, King Ghidra, etc. He seemed really excited. Then in an instant he became really sullen.
I knew his father was in my store shopping for interview clothes, but obviously I didn't ask any further questions. However, his son told me during the conversation I was having with him that his father lost his job and he can't get any more Godzilla toys even though he wants some. He said he hopes Santa can bring him some for Christmas. That part of the conversation really got to me and I really stepped outside of my own life problems.
Now there's not much I could have done for him or his family at that moment except hope for the best for his father on that interview. I know he'll look damn good seeing as he was dressed by one of the finest salesmen on the East Coast. Anyway, this upcoming holiday and even before that I want to give back any way I can. I know of a couple programs that run during the holiday season, but I feel like I can do more than that. I'm particularly trying to donate anything I can towards causes that benefit children. If anyone reading this knows of such a program, please contact me. Also, I will be posting future updates about programs that I am donating towards. If you would like to join my cause, also contact me.
Thanks.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
General State of Things
Right now I'm just feeling an overall state of frustration, uneasiness, hurt, and other not so positive emotions. More often than not I try to keep myself pretty even keeled. Not too over the top happy, but not too much of a downer either. Lately though, I feel just discontet towards everything. My job is frustrating and no longer fulfilling. My home life is becomingly stressful as I'm growing more resentful for the situation that I was put in. Even though the only things that put me here were a series of unforeseen circumstances, I'm still upset that I have to be here. I still feel like I've stalled in my professional career. All in all, just a very turbulent time in my life.
The worst thing above all of this is the one constant that I've had in my life for the past four and a half years is now gone. The store that I used to work until this past May closed on Saturday. Now I had not been working there all summer, but I would still pass through and see all the amazing people that I call some of my best friends. The place really was like my home during all of my time there. When I had nowhere else to go, even when I wasn't working, I would go there to escape from whatever was bothering me. I grew up in that place and was influenced heavily by the people around me. I went through so much there and now I feel like that is gone. My place of safety and solitude is gone.
Now, most people say it was only some place to work, but to me and to some of us who were employed there, it meant so much more. We grew up together and learned from each other. Sure, those people are still in my life, but that store was our bond. Everyone is now forced to go their own ways and those relationships will be strained more than ever. I'm hoping that they will never be severed, but the way in which our lives go is out of our control really.
I guess I'm feeling this kind of way because of the store closing, but I know there's other reasons. Reasons that I really cannot formulate into coherent thoughts right now. Anyway, I'm done for now.
The worst thing above all of this is the one constant that I've had in my life for the past four and a half years is now gone. The store that I used to work until this past May closed on Saturday. Now I had not been working there all summer, but I would still pass through and see all the amazing people that I call some of my best friends. The place really was like my home during all of my time there. When I had nowhere else to go, even when I wasn't working, I would go there to escape from whatever was bothering me. I grew up in that place and was influenced heavily by the people around me. I went through so much there and now I feel like that is gone. My place of safety and solitude is gone.
Now, most people say it was only some place to work, but to me and to some of us who were employed there, it meant so much more. We grew up together and learned from each other. Sure, those people are still in my life, but that store was our bond. Everyone is now forced to go their own ways and those relationships will be strained more than ever. I'm hoping that they will never be severed, but the way in which our lives go is out of our control really.
I guess I'm feeling this kind of way because of the store closing, but I know there's other reasons. Reasons that I really cannot formulate into coherent thoughts right now. Anyway, I'm done for now.
Monday, July 27, 2009
The Struggle for Why
Today's blog is more of a rant on myself moreso than anything else. As of late I've been questioning why I do certain things and trying to justify all the decisions I make in my life. Sometimes I search for the answers to why internally or I seek the advice and opinions of others. It's as if I have to convince myself beyond a shadow of doubt that whatever decision I am about to make is the right one. However, I have come to realize that is one of my problems.
Too often I search for the reasons in everything I do.
I came to that conclusion while talking to my former boss Rob today. He told me that I stress myself out searching for the right reasons instead of just acting on what I feel is best for me at the time. Now I may not know if it is actually best for me until after the fact, but it's worth trying. Is it wrong that I plan out my actions so meticulously before I act upon them or should I be less hesitant and slightly more impulsive. I'm not sure. It is hard to find that harmonious balance.
All in all, I still conflicted on certain decisions in my life right now, but I need to decide what makes me feel the best now instead of searching for the right justification.
Too often I search for the reasons in everything I do.
I came to that conclusion while talking to my former boss Rob today. He told me that I stress myself out searching for the right reasons instead of just acting on what I feel is best for me at the time. Now I may not know if it is actually best for me until after the fact, but it's worth trying. Is it wrong that I plan out my actions so meticulously before I act upon them or should I be less hesitant and slightly more impulsive. I'm not sure. It is hard to find that harmonious balance.
All in all, I still conflicted on certain decisions in my life right now, but I need to decide what makes me feel the best now instead of searching for the right justification.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Unnecessary Expressions of Love
Most of you who probably read this next entry will find it quite humorous and in retropsect, I find the topic of it funny as well. However, at the same time that these events occurred I found it quite annoying and just unnecessary on behalf of everybody involved. Let me start by setting up the story. The 17 year old kid who lives next door to me has very strict parents who barely let him out of his house. Fortunately for him, he has a girlfriend who adores him and comes to see him practically every single day at any hour. Whenever they are with another, greeting one another, or leaving one another's embrace they turn a simple moment into the sappy climax of the world's greatest love story. Here are the examples.
So I'm driving home from work one night and I've had one of those awful days. The scum of humanity passed my way that day and the day seemed to drag on. I could not wait to come inside my house and crash in my bed. I essentially had it with people for the day and did not want to be bothered. As I'm pulling into my parking space, I see the two kids, holding one another. It just so happened that it was a clear, spring evening and the moon was full. Why I noticed those things, who knows? Also, they happened to be standing underneath a willow tree which made the whole situation much more dramatic than it needed to be. Now I can't blame the kids for the scenery, but what transpired next was simply over the top. I walk past and I hear him say to her, "I love you."
She replies, "I love you and without you in my life I would be incomplete."
To that he responds, "Baby, I don't know where I would be in this world if not for you."
Now that sort of correspondence continues as I walk away and I can no longer hear them. Now I'm all for love and everything that comes along with it, but within reason. As I turn to open my door, I glance back and see them slowly lean in for one of those passionate kisses. When I saw that I just went inside and went to bed.
Scene 2:
I'm walking outside my house with an empty laundry basket on my way to pick up my washed clothes. It's raining out and the two of them had just parted ways. The girl was walking away and the boy was watching her and I was caught in the middle. I immediately stepped back as to not get in between the romantic scene that was about to ensue. As she walks away into the downpour, she stops to turn to him. Before she says anything, he responds, "Don't go so soon," and then proceeds to run towards her. They then begin kissing passionately in the rain. I felt as if I were stuck in a scene from The Notebook as I'm there just holding my laundry basket.
In hindsight, I guess it is funny how extreme these kids are and possibly a great thing that they love one another so much. If only they could learn to keep some privacy.
So I'm driving home from work one night and I've had one of those awful days. The scum of humanity passed my way that day and the day seemed to drag on. I could not wait to come inside my house and crash in my bed. I essentially had it with people for the day and did not want to be bothered. As I'm pulling into my parking space, I see the two kids, holding one another. It just so happened that it was a clear, spring evening and the moon was full. Why I noticed those things, who knows? Also, they happened to be standing underneath a willow tree which made the whole situation much more dramatic than it needed to be. Now I can't blame the kids for the scenery, but what transpired next was simply over the top. I walk past and I hear him say to her, "I love you."
She replies, "I love you and without you in my life I would be incomplete."
To that he responds, "Baby, I don't know where I would be in this world if not for you."
Now that sort of correspondence continues as I walk away and I can no longer hear them. Now I'm all for love and everything that comes along with it, but within reason. As I turn to open my door, I glance back and see them slowly lean in for one of those passionate kisses. When I saw that I just went inside and went to bed.
Scene 2:
I'm walking outside my house with an empty laundry basket on my way to pick up my washed clothes. It's raining out and the two of them had just parted ways. The girl was walking away and the boy was watching her and I was caught in the middle. I immediately stepped back as to not get in between the romantic scene that was about to ensue. As she walks away into the downpour, she stops to turn to him. Before she says anything, he responds, "Don't go so soon," and then proceeds to run towards her. They then begin kissing passionately in the rain. I felt as if I were stuck in a scene from The Notebook as I'm there just holding my laundry basket.
In hindsight, I guess it is funny how extreme these kids are and possibly a great thing that they love one another so much. If only they could learn to keep some privacy.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Life Lesson
So as some of you may know and for the others who may not, my grandfather was in the hospital from January until a little less than a week ago. Since the day he went into the hospital, I was thrust into a situation that I was not ready for nor was I eager to accept. I was responsible for the daily care of my grandmother, the monitoring of my grandfather's life threatening condition, the household itself, recovering finances and making some very difficult choices. Now these aren't common things that a 23 year old who just finished college typically deals with. In addition, I still had to manage my own responsibilities and not drop the ball on any of those either. It was during these months that I was not only responsible for my own well-being, but also the lives of the two people who essentially raised me from when I was young boy.
Well today, those 6 months of stress, frustration, and worrying culminated into one moment of sheer relief and gratitude. The day started off like any other day off from work for me: shower, make breakfast, and run errands for the household. However, when I sat down for breakfast my grandfather joined me this time. It was an unusual occurrence because he had been gone for so many months.
He just looked at me and said, "Shaun..I really let everything get out of control. Even before I went into the hospital, things were a mess. I'm sorry I put you into this situation, but at the same time I'm glad because you saved both your grandmother and I. I sincerely want to thank you. I hope you learned a lot of life lessons from this."
It was in that moment I just relieved. I finally felt like everything was under control. I had done it. I didn't need his apology or his thanks to feel that way, but I felt that the man who navigated life all those years was back on course.
To him I simply replied, "You're welcome. After everything you both did for me, what I did the last few months still can't even begin to compare to."
After a short pause, I continued, "I did learn a lot from this. I know that when the time comes I will be ready to manage a household and care for a family of my own. Instead of just being given the advice like most twenty-somethings preparing to venture out onto their own, I've actually lived the life for a short time."
Now as I sit here, I know they're still not out of the woods and it's going to be difficult and I'm going to have to be the strong one in the family. I'll probably still get upset and frustrated when things don't seem to pan out as I want or life throws me another curveball, but I can't let it hold me down. It's in those times when I'm feeling down and out that I have to remind myself that I'm not only responsible for my own life at this point, but the lives of two other peoople. I've managed a family, maintained a household, and brought them out of very difficult times. One just has to keep pushing and just simply make it happen, regardless of what stands in your way.
Well today, those 6 months of stress, frustration, and worrying culminated into one moment of sheer relief and gratitude. The day started off like any other day off from work for me: shower, make breakfast, and run errands for the household. However, when I sat down for breakfast my grandfather joined me this time. It was an unusual occurrence because he had been gone for so many months.
He just looked at me and said, "Shaun..I really let everything get out of control. Even before I went into the hospital, things were a mess. I'm sorry I put you into this situation, but at the same time I'm glad because you saved both your grandmother and I. I sincerely want to thank you. I hope you learned a lot of life lessons from this."
It was in that moment I just relieved. I finally felt like everything was under control. I had done it. I didn't need his apology or his thanks to feel that way, but I felt that the man who navigated life all those years was back on course.
To him I simply replied, "You're welcome. After everything you both did for me, what I did the last few months still can't even begin to compare to."
After a short pause, I continued, "I did learn a lot from this. I know that when the time comes I will be ready to manage a household and care for a family of my own. Instead of just being given the advice like most twenty-somethings preparing to venture out onto their own, I've actually lived the life for a short time."
Now as I sit here, I know they're still not out of the woods and it's going to be difficult and I'm going to have to be the strong one in the family. I'll probably still get upset and frustrated when things don't seem to pan out as I want or life throws me another curveball, but I can't let it hold me down. It's in those times when I'm feeling down and out that I have to remind myself that I'm not only responsible for my own life at this point, but the lives of two other peoople. I've managed a family, maintained a household, and brought them out of very difficult times. One just has to keep pushing and just simply make it happen, regardless of what stands in your way.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Pseudo Relationship: Good or Bad?
This next topic came about after a discussion with my friend Anthony regarding one of our mutual friends. I’m sure most of you have been there and if not you, then you know somebody who has. After a quick Google search, I realized that there were other pieces written regarding this pseudo relationship epidemic.
I feel I should begin with a quick overview about what the pseudo relationship is from my point of view. I feel the PR (pseudo relationship) exists between two people, usually friends, who have no real commitment towards one another. They are not devoted to one another, yet there is still some form of emotional connection there. It’s that awkward stage between friendship and a full blown relationship.
Here are some symptoms of the PR:
· The two of you talk every day and quite frequently.
· You think about them randomly throughout the day because of a slight mental trigger.
· That person evokes a good feeling from you.
· You typically have the urge to contact them about nonsense.
· Going out of your way to do something unreasonable
If you have acknowledged the existence of some these symptoms regarding a relationship with a person in your life right now with whom you have no commitment to, then yes, you were unknowingly in a pseudo relationship.
Now this current blog is a collaborative effort between my good friend Anthony Diaz and I. The next part of this entry will try to explain why this PR exists and I will take a more positive view on it while Anthony will explain the negatives.
It is in my opinion that a PR exists because there is some connection between the two people involved. Based on what I’ve noticed from my friends who have been involved in one, I have come to these conclusions. Clearly, there is some mutual interest between them and they do enjoy what one another brings to the table. However, there are clearly roadblocks. Maybe one of the parties prefers not to be committed, but enjoys the feelings they receive the other member of the PR. Perhaps, one individual fulfills a variety of wants that other searches for in a romantic partner, but they lack one specific need. Possibly they can’t be together because of one’s lifestyle choice, i.e. Chasing Amy. (I’m just throwing that in there because I watched the movie recently.) All in all, I do not think these relationships are not as terribly wrong as long as they are navigated with care. They could blossom into something more, continue at the same pace at which they are currently are or fizzle out entirely. Like most things, I say let things play themselves out and enjoy the ride.
Now here’s Anthony’s take on the whole thing:
Pseudo relationships are a blight on my existence. Most relationships I have had with women tend to be of the pseudo persuasion. There are several pros but soooo many more cons to these kinds of relationships. The cons tend to be a compromising of your character i.e., a tendency to do things that go against your very nature in order to please the female in your pseudo relationship, a need to be the emotional pillow for said female, also an inherent loss of masculinity. The pros I feel are not really pros but false positive things we tend to make up in order to deal with the pseudo relationship. One of the biggest false positives we have is making up this reason that talking to the person gives us a sense of fulfillment that we could not receive anywhere else. Personally I think its bullshit. Another false positive is just having the token female presence in your life is sometimes good when you’re constantly in a sea of testosterone. The problem with pseudo relationships doesn’t stem from the relationship themselves but from the people. The people that tend to get involved in these types of commitments are, let’s face it, pussies and I am talking about men and woman.
We all have problems and we try to find another person that can help us cope with our own bullshit while helping them cope with theirs. As I said before we use these particular people as emotional pillows while fulfilling that physical need with someone else. We enjoy the conversations and just genuinely being around that person so much that we won’t do anything to mess it up. Society today has been so compelled to put a label on something. However to do that, we feel we can upset the delicate balance that so many people in pseudo relationships work hard to establish. Another thing is that maybe the feelings are completely one sided and it seems like the other person likes us and likes the attention, the calls, the texts, the Facebook comments; when in reality they simply just like the attention. We, however, are so caught up in the possibility of them liking us that we are too blind to see and again we don’t want to ruin what we do have. We don’t want to turn the situation into something awkward and destroy the friendship. So we put up with it. Basically folks I am saying you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. It honestly depends how long you can stomach the situation.
That is all.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Random Nuggets of Wisdom
So I always meet the most unusually interesting elderly people at work. Today was no different.
This odd looking man came in right at the start of the morning and I knew he was one of those guys that wanted to talk about life. Most of the times, I just listen to what they have to say and take note of whatever wisdom they have to offer. I figure they've gotten through that much of life, they must know something.
Anyway, he starts talking to me about his brand new entertainment system that apparently cost him a good amount of money. Then he proceeds to tell me how his wife comes up to him a few weeks later talking about how they need new kitcken countertops. He tells her she's right but they agreed the granite ones would be too expensive. Next he tells me she just points to the entertainment system and he just nods his head in approval. That's where his first wisdom nugget comes in. He tells me, when you're married...she's always right, just say yes.
The next nuggest of wisdom is that the key to longevity is find a way to stay off each other's nerves. He told me that during the majority of his marriage he had to take business trips across Asia at weeks at a time. He said that time apart allowed them some freedom to maintain the happiness and not drive each other insane.
That is all.
This odd looking man came in right at the start of the morning and I knew he was one of those guys that wanted to talk about life. Most of the times, I just listen to what they have to say and take note of whatever wisdom they have to offer. I figure they've gotten through that much of life, they must know something.
Anyway, he starts talking to me about his brand new entertainment system that apparently cost him a good amount of money. Then he proceeds to tell me how his wife comes up to him a few weeks later talking about how they need new kitcken countertops. He tells her she's right but they agreed the granite ones would be too expensive. Next he tells me she just points to the entertainment system and he just nods his head in approval. That's where his first wisdom nugget comes in. He tells me, when you're married...she's always right, just say yes.
The next nuggest of wisdom is that the key to longevity is find a way to stay off each other's nerves. He told me that during the majority of his marriage he had to take business trips across Asia at weeks at a time. He said that time apart allowed them some freedom to maintain the happiness and not drive each other insane.
That is all.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Getting Older
It was only a few short years ago when all I knew was having a great time and just living it up with friends. Now that philosophy still resides with me but it is not as prevailing as some of the other thoughts in my head. I think I've been building up this over the past couple of months but didn't realize it until talking to a friend at work. On a side note, I think most of my realizations come as I'm talking to friends. Anyway, this is a friend of mine who I don't often see so when we do work together, I catch him up on all the happenings over the past 4 or 5 months. After I finished with all of my stories, he told me that I was different. I was different than how he remembered me only from back in December. He said I was calmer and more at ease. Also, I wasn't as crude. Always a plus.
To summarize the lengthy stories I told him, I was looking to essentially settle down with things and stop the craziness. I'm totally down for having more seriousness in my life. I'm ready to be on my own and do my own thing. I feel like I've exhausted this part of my life and am ready to take the step full force.
Two nights later I was enjoying a drink with Jimmy, my new boss, and I was asking him about his current girlfriend. He was telling me how he's in flux between that bachelor stage and the settling stage. He wants to settle down because he loves his girlfriend but he also enjoys the bachelor times with his old crew from Belmar. He's not sure what he wants right now. Then he asked me what I'm looking for. I told him I'm down for the seriousness. My friends will always be there and we always have good times, but we can't do those crazy things forever.
Now anyone who knows my close friends, knows that they can make for wild times. The stories of those times are still hilarious and I will never forget, but getting into new ones do not have the same appeal that they once did. I feel like I've gotten all that out of my system. It's funny that I write this now because my closest friend Anthony always said that I would be the first to settle down and I always joked back that it wouldn't happen. Right now I think he's right. I'm not nearly close to settling down but I'm certainly the first one showing the signs of being in that stage.
This is definitely an interesting point in life and I'm anxious to see where it goes.
To summarize the lengthy stories I told him, I was looking to essentially settle down with things and stop the craziness. I'm totally down for having more seriousness in my life. I'm ready to be on my own and do my own thing. I feel like I've exhausted this part of my life and am ready to take the step full force.
Two nights later I was enjoying a drink with Jimmy, my new boss, and I was asking him about his current girlfriend. He was telling me how he's in flux between that bachelor stage and the settling stage. He wants to settle down because he loves his girlfriend but he also enjoys the bachelor times with his old crew from Belmar. He's not sure what he wants right now. Then he asked me what I'm looking for. I told him I'm down for the seriousness. My friends will always be there and we always have good times, but we can't do those crazy things forever.
Now anyone who knows my close friends, knows that they can make for wild times. The stories of those times are still hilarious and I will never forget, but getting into new ones do not have the same appeal that they once did. I feel like I've gotten all that out of my system. It's funny that I write this now because my closest friend Anthony always said that I would be the first to settle down and I always joked back that it wouldn't happen. Right now I think he's right. I'm not nearly close to settling down but I'm certainly the first one showing the signs of being in that stage.
This is definitely an interesting point in life and I'm anxious to see where it goes.
Not What I Had Imagined
So my last entry was about how everyone is really setting off in their own directions. I'm finally starting to do the same. I always had goals, ambition, drive and all those other good things but during the college days I was still preoccupied with the hijinks that come with being 21 and having as wild friends as I do. Now though, it's time to step up and start planning things out. Unfortunately, the means in which I have to do aren't what I had envisioned only a few shorts month ago.
Last fall, I thought my world of opportunity would begin as soon as I finished school, but I awoke up to a stark reality. The economy was tanking and jobs were scarce. I was fortunate to have a decent enough job with the company that I had been with for the previous four years, but I still wanted more for myself. I wanted to get involved in the marketing or advertising field. That's why I made the switch during the college from computer science. I wanted to enjoy my career for the rest of my life and not just chase the money. It's not about the money, it's always been about being content with how things play themselves out. However, I don't think anyone can fully reach their goals without some money. It's sad, but it drives the world.
Moving on, I think my time at my current company is coming to a close and I'm going to move to a new opportunity that will offer a chance to have the things I want. I only wish I could be in my field instead. However, if I handle my finances wisely with this new job I could reach the goals I want. Ideally I would love to pay off my debts and own a home within a few short years. Once I get myself settled, I think I will definitely be able to pursue my dream job and in an ideal world everything will work out. Time will tell.
I have the idea stuck in my head now and knowing me, I will make this happen.
Last fall, I thought my world of opportunity would begin as soon as I finished school, but I awoke up to a stark reality. The economy was tanking and jobs were scarce. I was fortunate to have a decent enough job with the company that I had been with for the previous four years, but I still wanted more for myself. I wanted to get involved in the marketing or advertising field. That's why I made the switch during the college from computer science. I wanted to enjoy my career for the rest of my life and not just chase the money. It's not about the money, it's always been about being content with how things play themselves out. However, I don't think anyone can fully reach their goals without some money. It's sad, but it drives the world.
Moving on, I think my time at my current company is coming to a close and I'm going to move to a new opportunity that will offer a chance to have the things I want. I only wish I could be in my field instead. However, if I handle my finances wisely with this new job I could reach the goals I want. Ideally I would love to pay off my debts and own a home within a few short years. Once I get myself settled, I think I will definitely be able to pursue my dream job and in an ideal world everything will work out. Time will tell.
I have the idea stuck in my head now and knowing me, I will make this happen.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The Times Are A'Changin
The other night I was driving my friend Abraham home and while talking to him I came to a stark realization. Now before I continue with that realization, mind you, Abraham is often the person that seeks out the simplest means of living and is generally ok with that. I'm not saying Abe is without ambition or anything like that, but all of his close friends can agree that Abe that doesn't require much to be happy. Anyway, on to the matter at hand.
I haven't been around him or any of the guys as much because of my transfer to a new store and they all have been doing their own things lately. I try to make it a point to catch up on as much as possible when I do come back up for a day or two. While I was driving Abe home, he was telling me how he is aggressively pursuing his CDL and moving out away from his mother and the household that brings him nothing but depression. He was talking about how he would love to have a trucking job where he drove cross country and could just live on the road. Of course he started that conversation with a classic unusual Abe opening, "Shaun...you're not going to see me for awhile." Vintage Abe. All joking aside, hearing Abe talk about those things made me think about how all of us are really just beginning to do our own thing. Frankly, it's kind of scary.
I thought about the core group members and all of us are now just pursuing our own futures. In high school, we all were chasing graduation. In the college years, we were chasing that degree and/or having a good time. Our goals and the paths to those goals were always aligned. Lately though, we all have begun our own paths and while the group isn't disbanding, we are heading in different directions. We won't be seeing each other as much and will no longer be within a short reach. It's definitely a tough point as we all begin our own lives, but an inevitable step in life.
I don't know where all of my friends paths into the future will take them, but I'm hoping it's nothing but success and happiness all around. As for me, I'm finally beginning to see what kind of path I want to head towards.
I haven't been around him or any of the guys as much because of my transfer to a new store and they all have been doing their own things lately. I try to make it a point to catch up on as much as possible when I do come back up for a day or two. While I was driving Abe home, he was telling me how he is aggressively pursuing his CDL and moving out away from his mother and the household that brings him nothing but depression. He was talking about how he would love to have a trucking job where he drove cross country and could just live on the road. Of course he started that conversation with a classic unusual Abe opening, "Shaun...you're not going to see me for awhile." Vintage Abe. All joking aside, hearing Abe talk about those things made me think about how all of us are really just beginning to do our own thing. Frankly, it's kind of scary.
I thought about the core group members and all of us are now just pursuing our own futures. In high school, we all were chasing graduation. In the college years, we were chasing that degree and/or having a good time. Our goals and the paths to those goals were always aligned. Lately though, we all have begun our own paths and while the group isn't disbanding, we are heading in different directions. We won't be seeing each other as much and will no longer be within a short reach. It's definitely a tough point as we all begin our own lives, but an inevitable step in life.
I don't know where all of my friends paths into the future will take them, but I'm hoping it's nothing but success and happiness all around. As for me, I'm finally beginning to see what kind of path I want to head towards.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Good Friends Are Hard To Find
After a quick outing last night with a group of closest friends last night, I realized on the way home that they are some of the most important people in the world. These are the people who will be my biggest, and harshest critics, but yet be the most supportive people I know. They offer me the advice I need instead of telling me what I want to hear. I can truly say that it is very difficult for a lot of people to find true friends. I know many, many people who think they have good friends, but in turn, they really are not.
I feel that the biggest facet of any relationship is trust. It doesn't matter if it's romantic relationship, friendship, family relationship, or any other relationship that eludes me at the moment. I have a core group of friends that I can trust wholeheartedly. Granted, we may be different in many aspects of our personalities, but we still have common areas that allow us to be so close. I am very thankful to have them around and know that I can go to them with anything because they know me so well and will always have my back regardless of any outside interference.
I do feel that its unfortunate for those people out there who have their phony friends. The ones who judge you behind your back or are to afraid to call you out on something. Sadly, I have witnessed such situations firsthand and I feel bad for the victims who are none the wiser about it. I only hope that one day they realize to change up who they confide in.
I feel that the biggest facet of any relationship is trust. It doesn't matter if it's romantic relationship, friendship, family relationship, or any other relationship that eludes me at the moment. I have a core group of friends that I can trust wholeheartedly. Granted, we may be different in many aspects of our personalities, but we still have common areas that allow us to be so close. I am very thankful to have them around and know that I can go to them with anything because they know me so well and will always have my back regardless of any outside interference.
I do feel that its unfortunate for those people out there who have their phony friends. The ones who judge you behind your back or are to afraid to call you out on something. Sadly, I have witnessed such situations firsthand and I feel bad for the victims who are none the wiser about it. I only hope that one day they realize to change up who they confide in.
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Cynic In Me
So this current entry is simply intended to be a question, but it could end up being something bigger. I’m not exactly sure yet. At this current moment in time I’m wondering if it is better to open oneself up to the world and take things or just shut oneself off from it and never let anything it. Both sides of the argument have their pros and cons, but as of right now, I’m a little unsure of which is the better choice. Maybe it’s a combination of the two and simply the ability of a person to just keep their emotions and thoughts in check.
In this corner, we have the argument of just assuming the worst of the world and remaining callous and cynical towards it. While I’m sure it’s unfulfilling, it does allow a certain amount of protection. In fact, it fully protects you from everything. If you never open up and expose yourself to the world, you’ll stay safe. Sure, you’ll be viewed by others as some monster that is devoid of feeling, but in fact, this person is probably the most emotional one out there. They are the one unwilling to expose themselves to the world for a myriad of reasons. It’s better to avoid the danger of getting hurt and just protecting yourself.
The opponent to this is opening up and expressing your true self to the world. This is the more dangerous argument, but maybe it takes more courage to do this. Is it possible that the person who is unwilling, not unable, to expose themselves to the world is simply a coward? Additionally, if you open yourself up to the world, there are a lot of pleasant feelings that waiting. However, they do not come without risk.
I can say I’ve been on both sides of the argument and the first one is generally unfulfilling, while the second has fleeting moments of joy. I come off largely as a cynic with that previous statement, but I have yet to see the light at the end of my tunnel. The hope that it is there exists, but nobody really knows.
In this corner, we have the argument of just assuming the worst of the world and remaining callous and cynical towards it. While I’m sure it’s unfulfilling, it does allow a certain amount of protection. In fact, it fully protects you from everything. If you never open up and expose yourself to the world, you’ll stay safe. Sure, you’ll be viewed by others as some monster that is devoid of feeling, but in fact, this person is probably the most emotional one out there. They are the one unwilling to expose themselves to the world for a myriad of reasons. It’s better to avoid the danger of getting hurt and just protecting yourself.
The opponent to this is opening up and expressing your true self to the world. This is the more dangerous argument, but maybe it takes more courage to do this. Is it possible that the person who is unwilling, not unable, to expose themselves to the world is simply a coward? Additionally, if you open yourself up to the world, there are a lot of pleasant feelings that waiting. However, they do not come without risk.
I can say I’ve been on both sides of the argument and the first one is generally unfulfilling, while the second has fleeting moments of joy. I come off largely as a cynic with that previous statement, but I have yet to see the light at the end of my tunnel. The hope that it is there exists, but nobody really knows.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
All of that is just unnecessary
As I was staring out into the throng of people at work today, I came to the conclusion about what my next entry should be about. I am going to talk about those specific women who try far too hard to impress guys, or maybe other girls, depending upon their gender preference. However, that is besides the point. I’m not speaking about all women from here on out, but a specific group within the total female population. I noticed as I stared out into the crowds that far too many of these women were covered up with make-up, fake hair, and unnecessarily long nails that were glued on. While they were covered up with all those accessories, they were barely wearing any clothing. Honestly, some of these women did have the physiques to wear such attire and others didn’t. However, the physiques of these women do not warrant them to look trashy. In my opinion, all it does is make them look less respectable. I don’t feel that it takes a thick belt worn as a tube top and fifty pounds of make-up to look alluring. I actually feel quite contrary to that belief.
I, myself, have always been a fan of natural beauty. A woman who can put together a simple outfit that suits her body is very attractive. Additionally, she doesn’t need to apply excessive amounts of cosmetics. More often than not, the makeup hides the essence of who the girl is. Instead, all she needs to do is use the cosmetics to enhance the beauty that she already has. That is much more appealing on a woman than what I witnessed today in the masses. I do not want to be surprised by the person I see once the makeup comes off.
Also, I feel that the way a woman carries herself is adds to her attraction. A woman who walks with confidence and knows that she can handle herself is something that will definitely capture my attention much faster than a short skirt. I’m sure some guys reading this are reading this and saying, “Yeah right,” but it is true. Personally, I don’t want a timid, dependent girl seeking out my attention all the time. I’m not searching for a subservient individual to be with, but instead a counterpart. Some may argue that it is hard to tell a woman’s personality simply based on how she dresses, but I will disagree. A woman who dresses in a sophisticated manner while allowing her beauty to show through effortlessly is one who is confident in who she is and how she carries herself. That is the type of woman that I will seek out. She does not need someone else to validate her own existence.
All in all, I’m actually kind of tired of seeing these trashy women flocking to public places. Sure, they can make for some decent eye candy to some, but most of the time the guys that are ogling them are unable to even have an opportunity with these women. Frankly, those women are searching for the same self absorbed men with no confidence outside of their own physical appearance. (Those types of guys will be covered in a future entry because they often upset me as well.) I’m just hoping that some women can begin to show their natural beauty and not look as trashy.
I, myself, have always been a fan of natural beauty. A woman who can put together a simple outfit that suits her body is very attractive. Additionally, she doesn’t need to apply excessive amounts of cosmetics. More often than not, the makeup hides the essence of who the girl is. Instead, all she needs to do is use the cosmetics to enhance the beauty that she already has. That is much more appealing on a woman than what I witnessed today in the masses. I do not want to be surprised by the person I see once the makeup comes off.
Also, I feel that the way a woman carries herself is adds to her attraction. A woman who walks with confidence and knows that she can handle herself is something that will definitely capture my attention much faster than a short skirt. I’m sure some guys reading this are reading this and saying, “Yeah right,” but it is true. Personally, I don’t want a timid, dependent girl seeking out my attention all the time. I’m not searching for a subservient individual to be with, but instead a counterpart. Some may argue that it is hard to tell a woman’s personality simply based on how she dresses, but I will disagree. A woman who dresses in a sophisticated manner while allowing her beauty to show through effortlessly is one who is confident in who she is and how she carries herself. That is the type of woman that I will seek out. She does not need someone else to validate her own existence.
All in all, I’m actually kind of tired of seeing these trashy women flocking to public places. Sure, they can make for some decent eye candy to some, but most of the time the guys that are ogling them are unable to even have an opportunity with these women. Frankly, those women are searching for the same self absorbed men with no confidence outside of their own physical appearance. (Those types of guys will be covered in a future entry because they often upset me as well.) I’m just hoping that some women can begin to show their natural beauty and not look as trashy.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Hope In Hope
So at some point or multiple points we come to the realization that we want to have somebody in our lives, in addition to just friends and family. Not marriage or anything, but just a relationship with somebody that is something more than casual hook-ups and flings that we all have. Even more than the cat and mouse games we tend to play with each other. While those are all enjoyable and full of pleasure, those euphoric highs are fleeting. How long can somebody just engage in casual physical attractions before it grows tiring? Over time, we subconsciously crave a deeper meaning but mask it with just the casual liaisons. The cat and mouse chases are fun and challenging, but they too grow boring after awhile. Even as new challenges come and old ones are either completed or simply deemed not worth it, the thrill of the chase always goes away. There are those times when we want to be with somebody. It’s when we feel completeness through somebody else.
Now my friend Ant once told me that we need four types of connections to fully be compatible with somebody: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Now in an ideal world, we can find that somebody who matches up with our views or understandings on all those things. However, this is an imperfect world and we instead seek out the most important of those attributes in one person or sometimes supplement each attribute with a variety of people. The latter of which is probably not the best solution, however, it does keep us protected, but are we happy? This is the real question.
While we all search for those qualities in the hopes of finding somebody, most of us are scared to go down that path again. The path of pining over a person and doing ridiculous things that are against one’s better judgment. Is that foolishness worth it or is it not worth it if we have to act foolishly?
The fact of the matter is that if we do have to ask ourselves all of these questions and spend so much time and energy on deciding on whether it is worth it, then we probably have unknowingly answered our own question. It’s not wrong to want to be with somebody on a deeper level, but it is wrong when we have to torment ourselves before it all even begins. We exhaust ourselves before even starting the race. If that’s the case, then it clearly isn’t a race worth running. Unfortunately, we will just continue forth with our usual habits of flings and chasing until we truly find somebody that makes us want to look past all the bullshit in the way. There will not be any more work involved and instead the connection just flows. Until that point when the chase is unnecessary, the foolishness isn’t worth it, but it’s not wrong to still want to feel that way.
Now my friend Ant once told me that we need four types of connections to fully be compatible with somebody: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Now in an ideal world, we can find that somebody who matches up with our views or understandings on all those things. However, this is an imperfect world and we instead seek out the most important of those attributes in one person or sometimes supplement each attribute with a variety of people. The latter of which is probably not the best solution, however, it does keep us protected, but are we happy? This is the real question.
While we all search for those qualities in the hopes of finding somebody, most of us are scared to go down that path again. The path of pining over a person and doing ridiculous things that are against one’s better judgment. Is that foolishness worth it or is it not worth it if we have to act foolishly?
The fact of the matter is that if we do have to ask ourselves all of these questions and spend so much time and energy on deciding on whether it is worth it, then we probably have unknowingly answered our own question. It’s not wrong to want to be with somebody on a deeper level, but it is wrong when we have to torment ourselves before it all even begins. We exhaust ourselves before even starting the race. If that’s the case, then it clearly isn’t a race worth running. Unfortunately, we will just continue forth with our usual habits of flings and chasing until we truly find somebody that makes us want to look past all the bullshit in the way. There will not be any more work involved and instead the connection just flows. Until that point when the chase is unnecessary, the foolishness isn’t worth it, but it’s not wrong to still want to feel that way.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
No Man Is An Island
My next entry is going to relate to a concept that a friend and I were discussing the other day. We were talking about the concept of interdependence as it relates to an individual living their life. No one person is able to experience life fully without help from other people, whether it is direct or indirect. Even positive and negative people and relationships shape the way in which we live our lives. The best analogy is to imagine that your life is a train ride. Your birth is the beginning station and the ultimate destination is your own passing. Along the ride, a lot of people or passengers for the sake of this analogy come aboard and others leave. The duration of their stay is also a variable length. However, each one of them leaves a lasting impression upon the train ride of your life.
During our entire life, we make and lose friends, lovers come and go, and other figures, no matter how insignificant, pass by each day. Each one of these individuals is a passenger on your ride of life, despite how briefly you know them. Nobody goes through life with the same group of friends without ever adding to it or even subtracting from it. Some people feel that the loss of these people from your life is devasating, but in reality, it was just the right time to part ways. You learned from one another all you could and there's no reason for your lives to remain intertwined. It's not a bad thing at all. We should all embrace the experiences we shared with those people and continue to move forward. The same can be said for the friends who remain on board your train ride for much longer periods of time. You must learn from one another and take from each other everything you can while the opportunity exists. Remember, the path of life has no pitstops or rest stops.
Another way in which we all lose somebody is through death. It can be a relative, a dear friend, a coworker, or just a person you spoke to in passing. Unlike the dissolving of a friendship, death is one those things that we have particularly no control over. Therefore, the timing of that departure is much more unexpected. However, the outcome is still no different that the. departure of anyone else. Regarding the death of a family member, specifically a close one, that person was undoubtedly a significant figure in your life since the beginning. The loss of them may be tough to cope with, but understand that you must take everything you learned from that person and through that you carry with you a piece of them. The lessons that they taught you will always be with you for the rest of your journey and that is all you need.
Additionally, the experiences who have with people on a romantic level are necessary as well. Everyone has had those poor relationships in which you are devastated by someone cheating on you or just quitting a successful relationship, in your opinion. The mentality of, "why did this have to happen" begins to set in and it can destory people mentally and emotionally. However, I'm going to say that it was necessary for those people who crushed you to have had that time on your ride of life. Simply said, nobody is born with all the knowledge of world. We aren't some computer application that is already preloaded with all the necessary tools we need to achieve an objective. Our journey through life isn't something we can be prepared for, but instead it is conquered through experience and the acquisition of knowledge. In the end, that girl who cheated on you after you confessed your truest feelings for her was necessary. It was a valuable lesson that needed to be learned and we all need to be taught that lesson at some point.
I know it sounds as if I'm trying to put a positive spin on many of the sad and sorrowful parts of your life, but the reality of the situation is that these things will and are going to happen to you. It's silly to pretend that they won't and it's certainly better to look at these situations with a different perspective. In conclusion, remember to take as much as you can from the people who come aboard your ride of life and accept when it is their time to depart.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
No Pedicures in 09
So I was having a conversation with my coworker today while reading Esquire magazine. There was a section of the magazine that dealt with helping men get in style for this spring. One of the tips for men involved how to wear sandals without embarassement. It listed a few tips on how a man should take better care of his feet.
Now I had always assumed that a simple toe nail clipping was enough whenever necessary. However, my coworker, a female, and I became involved in a lengthy debate about how well a man should treat his feet. She said that a man should go for a pedicure treatment at least once a month. I told her that was ridiculous. There is no reason why a man needs his feet looking dainty and well groomed. So what if I have a callous on my foot while wearing sandals. I don't care. She continued to argue that men should take care of themselves therefore a woman wouldn't be afraid to look. I told her there's no reason for a woman to be observing a man's feet. Frankly, I don't feel that feet are attractive at all. If you aren't a guy who is going to expose your feet publically then I don't see a point in a man getting a pedicure. I know for a fact that I will never be coerced into getting a pedicure by anybody.
Now I had always assumed that a simple toe nail clipping was enough whenever necessary. However, my coworker, a female, and I became involved in a lengthy debate about how well a man should treat his feet. She said that a man should go for a pedicure treatment at least once a month. I told her that was ridiculous. There is no reason why a man needs his feet looking dainty and well groomed. So what if I have a callous on my foot while wearing sandals. I don't care. She continued to argue that men should take care of themselves therefore a woman wouldn't be afraid to look. I told her there's no reason for a woman to be observing a man's feet. Frankly, I don't feel that feet are attractive at all. If you aren't a guy who is going to expose your feet publically then I don't see a point in a man getting a pedicure. I know for a fact that I will never be coerced into getting a pedicure by anybody.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Opening Up
This current post is not really a rant, rave, or ridicule. This entry is going to deviate from what I typically do in this blog. In fact, this entry is going to talk about something I've just begun doing and I am hoping to continue to do more of.
The other week I realized that one of my biggest character flaws is an unwillingness to open up and trust people. It's essentially a defense mechanism that I've developed and employed since I was a young child. However, I'm 23 years old and surrounded by adults. I feel that by this point the majority of people around are mature enough and frankly, I should be mature enough to handle all situations that come my way. Since that realization, I have begun to open more frequently to people about problems that are plaguing me. The list of people includes very close friends, fairly new friends, and even my grandmother. Although, everyone should be able to open up to a grandmother because they are at that point where they are a mecca of knowledge and wisdom.
Anyway, since I've been opening up about all things positive and negative I have felt more relieved. Initially, I began to use this blog as an outlet for my frustation, but I've since expanded to being more personal with people. It's definitely been a good thing. All in all, I was able to deconstruct myself and turn one of my flaws into a positive aspect.
In the end, it is my hope that I was able to open your minds to some new ways of thinking and feel free to contact me for future discussions.
The other week I realized that one of my biggest character flaws is an unwillingness to open up and trust people. It's essentially a defense mechanism that I've developed and employed since I was a young child. However, I'm 23 years old and surrounded by adults. I feel that by this point the majority of people around are mature enough and frankly, I should be mature enough to handle all situations that come my way. Since that realization, I have begun to open more frequently to people about problems that are plaguing me. The list of people includes very close friends, fairly new friends, and even my grandmother. Although, everyone should be able to open up to a grandmother because they are at that point where they are a mecca of knowledge and wisdom.
Anyway, since I've been opening up about all things positive and negative I have felt more relieved. Initially, I began to use this blog as an outlet for my frustation, but I've since expanded to being more personal with people. It's definitely been a good thing. All in all, I was able to deconstruct myself and turn one of my flaws into a positive aspect.
In the end, it is my hope that I was able to open your minds to some new ways of thinking and feel free to contact me for future discussions.
Opposing Forces
Now everyone knows the classic line of "opposites attract." I believe that statement to be true, but I feel there must be both similarities and differences between two people. If the relationship is based on either extreme, then it is more than likely going to fail. Based on the aforementioned statements, I am going to rant about certain differences prohibiting individuals from testing the possibilities of their relationships.
When we all meet somebody for the first time, you are either attracted or unattracted to them for whatever reason. It's just a natural thing. If there is an attraction there, then one party or the other pursues it and attempts to continue to forge a connection with the individual. It is through this pursuit that the two individuals either find a compatibility for one another on a romantic level, friendship level, or in fact, none at all. It all really hinges upon the personalities of both people. However, I am going to specifically talk about the ability or actually the inability to pursure a more romantic relationship because of an unwillingness to accept one aspect of the other person.
I feel it is completely ridiculous to not attempt even the beginnings of a relationship because of an unwillingness to accept. I'm not attempting to say that one person's views, beliefs, or feelings are inherently wrong and and should be ignored. I feel that if two people are able to connect on a variety of levels, then they should be able to accept one another for certain aspects of their lives that they feel a strong way towards. It would be terrible to not allow yourself an opportunity with somebody whom you find that can relate to you on any level.
My opponents will argue that if two people have such opposing views on a specific belief they feel so strongly toward that it is not worth being with that person. While I can understand that perspective, it is not sensible. All relationships need some form of conflict and difference to enhance the relationship. Couples learn and grow from one another and from the ideas that they offer one another. A relationship between two similar people grows tiring. Additionally, a relationship that is bound by one common interest while every other aspect of the relationship is dissimilar is lackluster. My belief is that two people who can relate on multiple levels, but also differ on multiple levels have the beginnings of something special. However, it is important that the two people have the ability to accept one another's differences as opposed to writing them off because of those differences.
Overall, it is my hope that I was able to stir about some thought through this entry. If anyone finds themselves in this situation, then I hope that you are able to see my point of view and search for more acceptance. It would be wrong to miss out on something because you were unwilling to see a person because you can't bring yourself past certain primitive ideals.
As always, feel free to comment here or contact me in any way for a discussion.
When we all meet somebody for the first time, you are either attracted or unattracted to them for whatever reason. It's just a natural thing. If there is an attraction there, then one party or the other pursues it and attempts to continue to forge a connection with the individual. It is through this pursuit that the two individuals either find a compatibility for one another on a romantic level, friendship level, or in fact, none at all. It all really hinges upon the personalities of both people. However, I am going to specifically talk about the ability or actually the inability to pursure a more romantic relationship because of an unwillingness to accept one aspect of the other person.
I feel it is completely ridiculous to not attempt even the beginnings of a relationship because of an unwillingness to accept. I'm not attempting to say that one person's views, beliefs, or feelings are inherently wrong and and should be ignored. I feel that if two people are able to connect on a variety of levels, then they should be able to accept one another for certain aspects of their lives that they feel a strong way towards. It would be terrible to not allow yourself an opportunity with somebody whom you find that can relate to you on any level.
My opponents will argue that if two people have such opposing views on a specific belief they feel so strongly toward that it is not worth being with that person. While I can understand that perspective, it is not sensible. All relationships need some form of conflict and difference to enhance the relationship. Couples learn and grow from one another and from the ideas that they offer one another. A relationship between two similar people grows tiring. Additionally, a relationship that is bound by one common interest while every other aspect of the relationship is dissimilar is lackluster. My belief is that two people who can relate on multiple levels, but also differ on multiple levels have the beginnings of something special. However, it is important that the two people have the ability to accept one another's differences as opposed to writing them off because of those differences.
Overall, it is my hope that I was able to stir about some thought through this entry. If anyone finds themselves in this situation, then I hope that you are able to see my point of view and search for more acceptance. It would be wrong to miss out on something because you were unwilling to see a person because you can't bring yourself past certain primitive ideals.
As always, feel free to comment here or contact me in any way for a discussion.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Mommy, can you buy me a new outfit?
Alright, so I encountered a mother and son pair at work that really made angry and inspired this current rant.
So it was a slow day in the store and I was desperate for sales. This slob of a man walks into the store and he looks completely lost. This grotesque, overweight man stood there wearing his unlaced Tims, extra baggy jeans, Roca Wear jacket with fur trimmed hood, and fitted, completely bewildered by the fact that he was standing in a store that sold khakis, polos, and other formal wear for men. I walk over to him and asked if he needed help. He tells me that he is looking for khakis that will not wrinkle. I direct him over to where we have those pants and he hurriedly walks to the wall. Then his elderly mother saunters over with her make-up perfectly done and hair curled up ever so classy. She explains to me that her son needs some pants that can take a beating because she is tired of buying him new pants that do not last. I reassure her that she has come to the right place, but I inquire as to what her son does for a profession. She tells me that her son does not need the pants for work, but to go "clubbin." As soon as she tells me that, I think to myself, "What the hell is going on here?" However, all she saw me do was smile in agreeance and say, "Oh."
Now this whole incident pissed me off. I cannot even fathom the concept of being in my late 20's or early 30's and having my mother buy clothes for me, especially clothes she feels I should go out in. I have been on my own for so long and handling my own business for so many years that I wouldn't want to be treated that way. In fact, I've been keeping my family afloat instead of the other way around. A lifestyle such as that would break them.
Really though, I know this is not an isolated incident. There are way more of these coddled, overprotected slobs out in this world who have no idea how to live for themselves. This is one of the problems with society. Guys like this are still suckling at the teet of mom and dad and are unwilling to let go. What makes this even worse? These are probably the guys who have the utmost confidence in themselves, yet have nothing going for them. It's quite sickening.
Well, it appears I'm done ranting and ridiculing these losers, but I have come up with a question for anyone reading this. How can somebody go through life living for nothing?
So it was a slow day in the store and I was desperate for sales. This slob of a man walks into the store and he looks completely lost. This grotesque, overweight man stood there wearing his unlaced Tims, extra baggy jeans, Roca Wear jacket with fur trimmed hood, and fitted, completely bewildered by the fact that he was standing in a store that sold khakis, polos, and other formal wear for men. I walk over to him and asked if he needed help. He tells me that he is looking for khakis that will not wrinkle. I direct him over to where we have those pants and he hurriedly walks to the wall. Then his elderly mother saunters over with her make-up perfectly done and hair curled up ever so classy. She explains to me that her son needs some pants that can take a beating because she is tired of buying him new pants that do not last. I reassure her that she has come to the right place, but I inquire as to what her son does for a profession. She tells me that her son does not need the pants for work, but to go "clubbin." As soon as she tells me that, I think to myself, "What the hell is going on here?" However, all she saw me do was smile in agreeance and say, "Oh."
Now this whole incident pissed me off. I cannot even fathom the concept of being in my late 20's or early 30's and having my mother buy clothes for me, especially clothes she feels I should go out in. I have been on my own for so long and handling my own business for so many years that I wouldn't want to be treated that way. In fact, I've been keeping my family afloat instead of the other way around. A lifestyle such as that would break them.
Really though, I know this is not an isolated incident. There are way more of these coddled, overprotected slobs out in this world who have no idea how to live for themselves. This is one of the problems with society. Guys like this are still suckling at the teet of mom and dad and are unwilling to let go. What makes this even worse? These are probably the guys who have the utmost confidence in themselves, yet have nothing going for them. It's quite sickening.
Well, it appears I'm done ranting and ridiculing these losers, but I have come up with a question for anyone reading this. How can somebody go through life living for nothing?
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Women Have No Respect
Right now, I need to rant about how women cannot offer the same common courtesy that they demand from men. All the time you will hear, "That jerk hasn't called me back" or "He didn't tell me he had a girlfriend." Now, from a male perspective, I feel that we should be offerred the same sort of courtesy that women demand so highly. I will now make a list of rules that will help women better handle themselves during that initial "getting to know" phase of any relationship.
1. If a guy asks you for your number, at least dignify him with a no if you don't want him talking to you. Guys would much rather be turned down from the start instead of waiting a period of time before making the assumption on his own. We're all big boys here, we can handle rejection.
2. If you're currently involved with another man when a guy is interested in getting to know you, let him know. Do not assume that he is simply trying to be your friend. In the end, the guy will ultimately feel like a fool as you've been hiding the fact that you have a boyfriend. If he is interested in you, then he will leave you alone and accept the fact. If he is not, then he will respect the idea that you did tell him you had a boyfriend from the start instead of allowing that little tidbit to linger around unknown to him.
3. Ladies, if you're recently out of a bad relationship and only looking for a quick hook-up, tell the man that you are hooking up with what the situation is for you. He will undoubtedly appreciate that more than thinking it meant the same to you as it did him. The guy may not be interested in a one night fling and may expect something. Be upfront with him.
4. If you begin to date a guy and he has an annoying habit in the start of the relationship, tell him as soon as you notice it. Don't assume that it will change with him because it probably will not. If anything, it will continue to annoy you and become a bigger annoyance to you down the road. Keep the communication lines from the start open and do not get mad at the guy for being himself because you just did not speak up.
5. Be open-minded to all possibilities. If you are a woman who is not involved with anybody, but interested in another guy, be cognisant of the fact that you may not be involved with that person for a reason. Having a crush is awesome and that feeling of puppy love is wonderful, but do not let it put blinders over your eyes. There could be an even better guy interested in you, but you have shut off your ability to see him because you have become infatuated with a man that you are not even with. Ladies, I implore you, give any guy interested in you a chance. If that chance works out and you become involved, see Rule #2 if another man comes along.
That's all the rules I have for now but I'm sure there are many other guys out there who have been wronged by women just when trying to get to know them. Please add to this ever increasing list.
1. If a guy asks you for your number, at least dignify him with a no if you don't want him talking to you. Guys would much rather be turned down from the start instead of waiting a period of time before making the assumption on his own. We're all big boys here, we can handle rejection.
2. If you're currently involved with another man when a guy is interested in getting to know you, let him know. Do not assume that he is simply trying to be your friend. In the end, the guy will ultimately feel like a fool as you've been hiding the fact that you have a boyfriend. If he is interested in you, then he will leave you alone and accept the fact. If he is not, then he will respect the idea that you did tell him you had a boyfriend from the start instead of allowing that little tidbit to linger around unknown to him.
3. Ladies, if you're recently out of a bad relationship and only looking for a quick hook-up, tell the man that you are hooking up with what the situation is for you. He will undoubtedly appreciate that more than thinking it meant the same to you as it did him. The guy may not be interested in a one night fling and may expect something. Be upfront with him.
4. If you begin to date a guy and he has an annoying habit in the start of the relationship, tell him as soon as you notice it. Don't assume that it will change with him because it probably will not. If anything, it will continue to annoy you and become a bigger annoyance to you down the road. Keep the communication lines from the start open and do not get mad at the guy for being himself because you just did not speak up.
5. Be open-minded to all possibilities. If you are a woman who is not involved with anybody, but interested in another guy, be cognisant of the fact that you may not be involved with that person for a reason. Having a crush is awesome and that feeling of puppy love is wonderful, but do not let it put blinders over your eyes. There could be an even better guy interested in you, but you have shut off your ability to see him because you have become infatuated with a man that you are not even with. Ladies, I implore you, give any guy interested in you a chance. If that chance works out and you become involved, see Rule #2 if another man comes along.
That's all the rules I have for now but I'm sure there are many other guys out there who have been wronged by women just when trying to get to know them. Please add to this ever increasing list.
How much say do friends actually have?
There comes a time in every circle of male friends when one of the guys has a girlfriend and some or all of the remaining group members despise her. I know I speak from personal experience on both sides of that situation. I have been the guy who had the girlfriend than no one liked and more recently I had the unfortunate pleasure of being the one who did not like a friend's girlfriend.
Now the question at hand is how much should a friend do to make his point clear that his friend and the girl he is currrently dating not be together. In my case, I did not feel that the two people were compatible for one another. My friend is a hardcore romantic who is searching for that one person that can be in a serious relationship with him. This is what he is looking for in a girl. The girl, however, was unsure of what she wanted but she knew she could not offer him the serious relationship. She was not at that point in her life. Now, from the start of the relationship I was adamently against it and I made that clear to him. However, he continued to pursue the relationship and it did not end well. In fact, it ended after a few short weeks. I figured he had avoided the ultimate heartbreak that would have come from this doomed relationship that he even he said would end. Although, he stated that he was willing to work and work at it in the hopes that it could ultimately lead to what he is chasing. I figured it was my duty as a friend to protect him from the heartbreak that could stem from this relationship.
A couple of days later, the girl apologizes to my friend and says they should attempt it again. I knew my friend would go for it because he's just that kind of sappy guy. Nothing wrong with that at all, though. Anyway, this is where I felt I should try to become involved. The rest of the group and I heckled him incessantly hoping that would change his mind on this relationship. It failed. He continued to see her until Valentine's Day and I still tried talking him out of it. Sadly, that Valentine's Day ended in heartache as they split up again. The relationship is certainly beyond repair this time.
Now, I feel that it is the duty of a friend to protect his closest friends from an evil woman who can take advantage of him. My counterparts argue that while my actions are noble, I should allow my friend to make his own mistake and learn from them. I do see their point of view, but it does not make sense to me. In the process of falling for a girl, a man loses all of his logical viewpoints. It is the responsibility of the friend to be that objective, outside opinion to help him out. Nobody wants to see their friends get hurt.
Your thoughts?
Now the question at hand is how much should a friend do to make his point clear that his friend and the girl he is currrently dating not be together. In my case, I did not feel that the two people were compatible for one another. My friend is a hardcore romantic who is searching for that one person that can be in a serious relationship with him. This is what he is looking for in a girl. The girl, however, was unsure of what she wanted but she knew she could not offer him the serious relationship. She was not at that point in her life. Now, from the start of the relationship I was adamently against it and I made that clear to him. However, he continued to pursue the relationship and it did not end well. In fact, it ended after a few short weeks. I figured he had avoided the ultimate heartbreak that would have come from this doomed relationship that he even he said would end. Although, he stated that he was willing to work and work at it in the hopes that it could ultimately lead to what he is chasing. I figured it was my duty as a friend to protect him from the heartbreak that could stem from this relationship.
A couple of days later, the girl apologizes to my friend and says they should attempt it again. I knew my friend would go for it because he's just that kind of sappy guy. Nothing wrong with that at all, though. Anyway, this is where I felt I should try to become involved. The rest of the group and I heckled him incessantly hoping that would change his mind on this relationship. It failed. He continued to see her until Valentine's Day and I still tried talking him out of it. Sadly, that Valentine's Day ended in heartache as they split up again. The relationship is certainly beyond repair this time.
Now, I feel that it is the duty of a friend to protect his closest friends from an evil woman who can take advantage of him. My counterparts argue that while my actions are noble, I should allow my friend to make his own mistake and learn from them. I do see their point of view, but it does not make sense to me. In the process of falling for a girl, a man loses all of his logical viewpoints. It is the responsibility of the friend to be that objective, outside opinion to help him out. Nobody wants to see their friends get hurt.
Your thoughts?
Thursday, February 12, 2009
What This Is All About?
Throughout my life I have experienced things and been around people who have given me a very unique perspective on life. This perspective is one that I feel is very contrary to the majority of views on the world. I feel I look at the world differently than most and it is my hope that I can share these views with everyone reading this and hopefully expand your mind on a variety of issues: love, friendship, success, failure, happiness, life. This blog is not meant to tell you how to live your life, but essentially explain all the differences between the world and my own views of it in an entertaining matter.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
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